Camping @ Guadalupe

The day before we packed up to go camping, Kelli accompanied me downtown, as usual, for our walk around Town Lake and then to my workout at Fusion Fitness.  I snapped this picture of her and had to realize that she is getting big and there's nothing I can do about it.

We had some lunch with friends at Galaxy Cafe (nomzed on the shrimp salad!)

These ladies are just awesome.

And I got a look at my marathon jersey that my friend Jessikah in California made me. It was amazing!

On Friday we packed up the truck and headed to the Guadalupe State Park just south of us to meet our friends for a weekend camping trip.

As you can see, we lost many layers of clothing as the day went on.  We've been getting Fall (ish) weather and mornings are cool but at this point, afternoons were still hot.  #lovetexas

 The water was FREEZING, but when you're 5 you don't notice things like temperature or climate.  It's a gift only the youth can enjoy.

Sydney was a little intimidated by all the boys there.  She felt out-numbered and just swore Mikey wouldn't play with her anymore.  Contrary to her insecurities, they all had a blast.  The kids took turns around the campfire telling stories, and after Sydney finished her second story good 'ol Mikey chimed in "why do you talking marriage so much?"

It's not over Mikey.  In 5-6 years, Sydney will have your wedding completely mapped out and arranged. 

Good news:  there was coffee in the morning.

Though we didn't sleep but maybe a few broken hours, we are pretending to be happy and lovin' this!

Not to exaggerate, we had a great time!  #untilbedtime

Ben the photo bomb.

The Funeral

My brother came in for the memorial service. Sydney was STOKED to see him.

It was a very nice service and off course the slide show made me cry my eyes out. It is still so hard to believe she is gone. Everyday I go through my 'loot' of her old things and stare at her radio.

The cousins came in for the memorial and Sydney enjoyed playing with Tao Tao and Amy.

They made Halloween masks.

Lots of Dust & Memories

My sisters, Mom and I spent our Sunday afternoon cleaning out Aunty La's "wing" of the mobile home. It was just too much for Uncle Wally to deal with so we all spent 6 hours going through everything and ended up with 25 bags of trash! It was so hard to throw away all of the things she treasured, but who is going to keep a large box of paper napkins? Or a collection of clothing tags or 40+ years worth of receipts from Walgreens?
We did find some amazing photos and things that brought us great memories. I lost it so bad a few times and had to take several breaks to cry outside on the porch. But we also had a lot of good laughs too.

Just the beginning of what we were dealing with. Not sure how she walked through that hallway. It's no wonder she never left her side of the house.

She collected the tops from baby wipes boxes. Why not?

A portion of her bedroom. She tore out photos from magazines and advertisement papers and taped them all over the place. She really liked this picture of a dog!

Where she spent the last 2 (or so) years of her life. Sadly she was on so many medications and was growing colon cancer without knowing it, she couldn't tell the difference between medication side effects and a real problem. She even had a toaster, coffee pot and pop-tarts in there. This was her little 'spot' and she made it comfy for her.

Jenny found this while going through some of her things in the bedroom. It was a note to me, with a cross necklace saying she wanted me to have this when she goes home to Jesus.
Getting a note from her postmortem was so touching.

This was her sitting room. She had so many stuffed animals and towels in here. What sent me into a meltdown was that 1/2-eaten cookie on her side table. Seeing that felt like she's just in the other room and coming back to finish it. That broke my heart into so many pieces.

I found this photo of us in her bedroom.

A couple of her many collections. Clothing tags and acorns.

She had a collection of cups! Even one from Taco Bell and it had her writing on it saying who she was with at Taco Bell, where and when! This one is from Disneyland and it says "Erik & Sara. Wally & La. 8-6-89"

She also saved EVERY SINGLE newspaper ever. We had to box those up for recycling. No one could lift the boxes because they were so heavy.
I came to their rescue, no worries.

Wendy kept taking pictures of me carrying the boxes because she was waiting for me to trip and fall and wanted to capture it. She loves me. #jealous

Things they were going to throw out or toss, and I kept. Photos, an old bag, her collection of acorns, and an alarm clock with a tiny heart taped to it that said "Sara".

It's Friday, Friday, Er-rybody Get Down on Fridaaaayy

I'm just saying, this has been an emotional week for so many reasons. My dearest Aunt passed away, neighborhood politics and good friends going through tough times. Let me just say; it is a total miracle that I haven't pulled a Billie Jean and cut off all my hair or set the house on fire. I'm unstable. But this? That little bundle of cute flesh? Ooooooh!!!! Just what the psychotherapist ordered. Watching my kids just makes it all go away. Sometimes you need therapy for being a parent. This time, parenting *is* the therapy!

On the list of things to do: change my life. First it was my Celiac Diagnosis, then doctors thought I had Crohn's too. Then my Dad's heart problems. Followed by my mother's diabetes. And now I've lost my Aunt to colon cancer.
Everything linked back to what we eat. How we feed our bodies.
So I got a juicer.

And drink 1-3 of these a day.
Also entertaining the idea of getting my license in Nutritional Consulting.

Kelli loves Fridays because that means storytime AND gymnastics. And we usually go for a long walk, too. She turns into a giggly ball of energy the second she gets to gymnastics.

Afterwards, I had an emotional meltdown again. Called my parents and asked them to meet us for lunch, to which they did. After lunch my mom and I took Kelli on a long walk around the nature trails behind the shopping center. It was good therapy. My mom wanted to get Syd from school so Kelli and I stayed at the park and Mom returned with big sister. It was good for my mom & I to watch the kids play and smile. We felt better. For the time being.

We accidentally got the kids yogurt.

what?

Kelli supported her Dad's team Saturday morning!

And Sydney made fresh orange juice!

All there is in there is orange juice from fresh oranges! It blew store-bought out of the water!

The Hardest Part

Later in the afternoon of Aunty La's passing, we had to leave the hospital and head over to her rehab facility and clean out her room. Sydney insisted she come with us because she was so upset for not being allowed to say goodbye. She was shaken up but I didn't want to inhibit her feelings and emotions about this. Cleaning up her room and going through her things hurt the most. Even the box of kleenex prompted a random memory.

We all shared stories about her and Wally talked about their past and early days. He is a mess. After we cleared everything out, and I had my bag containing her old dial radio, shawl and cross... it was just Jenny & I. We sat there forever trying to leave but it was hard knowing we'd never be back to visit. I stared at her empty bed and her walker leaning against the wall.

It hurts so bad.

1931 - 2011

On Sunday, September 25th at 7:51 am we lost our beloved Aunty La.
This was the last picture taken with all of the girls together. She surprised us by showing up to Sydney's 5th birthday party. I remember like it was just last week. How excited Sydney was for her to be there and for several moments, it was as if La was the only person there... forget the moonbounces, cake and 20 friends running around. Sydney was over the moon that La showed up. I'll never forget that. And in the back of my mind, I think La came because Wally advised her not to. Stubborn as she was, she'd fight through the discomfort and pain and do opposite of what anyone told her.
That is how she fought her cancer. Knowing she wouldn't win, but raging through the battle simply because others advised her not to.
Not enough words to express what this woman meant to me. Not enough time to talk about all of the memories I will cherish. I will just miss her "like the dickens".

Sweetberry Farm 2011

First stop! The corn maze. Last year Sydney was not game for this, but she was a bit braver this time around. All I can say is... it was hot.

1/2 way through the maze, Kelli lost her enthusiasm.

So did Sydney.
(I never really had any)

But we marches on. Singing Dora.

and on. and on. and on.

Finally I cheated and handed them over the fence on the right and we walked back to our stroller. We mazed enough. They got the idea.

Same truck! Same photo.
Just slightly taller children.
*sniff*

A really nice lady took our picture.
Did I mention... it was hot?

They are both such good little photo subjects now!! Kelli gives the 'ol "cheese obvious" grin while Sydney throws a "blue steel" at the camera.

Kelli kept saying "awww!!! silly goat!! awww!"

This picture should be the one you get when you buy a picture frame at target.

Hayride. Kelli was impressed but trying to hide her nervousness.
What. No I'm cool. I'm totally as excited as Sissy about this hayride on a crickety metal trailer from 1925.

Made it to the flower "farm" and the girls picked about 783 flowers.
Incase I didn't mention... it was a little warm outside.
But I'm smiling!! I'm enthusiastic, proud Mommy!! yaayyyy you picked another flower!! good job! so pretty!! pick some more!!! yyyyaaaayyy!!!!! good job!

Kelli picked hokie flowers for Daddy. red & orange.

Time for the train ride!!! Had the whole thing to themselves. Picked the front seat. Kelli lasted 30 seconds. "nope. I no want it"
And because I didn't respond to her immediately: "NO!!! I. NO. WAAAAANT. IT!!!!!!"
Okay dude. Fine... get out. Jeez.

So Sydney slid to the back because that's where big kids go.

Hayride back to the other side of the farm. Kelli didn't hide her feelings this time.

Farmer Syd!

She decided to make a scarecrow. Best $15 ever. That was fun.

"His name is Daddy. Just like Daddy"

This is so sad. They pretended it was Daddy and gave him a hug. Seriously, he's only been gone for 5 days.

Oh man she did NOT like the fact that she couldn't lift it. "Help meeeeeee!!!!"

Is that all? Or should we find more. Maybe even BIGGER pumpkins? Maybe the expensive ones over there not sitting in shade. Let's go browse those for 20 minutes!!!! yaaaayy.

Kelli and Sydney took turns on this. It was a moment I had to capture.
"Sissy turn!!!"
"Okay Kelli. It's YOUR turn"
"okaaay! now Sissy turn!"
Santa heard that.