Growing up in the 80's had it's perks. It was the generation when all of the best toys came out. Teddy Ruxpin, glow worm, nintendo, Barbie got a convertable, cabbage patch dolls, pound puppies, baby blinkins, transformers, thundercats, pillow people, nerf blasters and GI Joe.
My brother and I would sit for hours flipping through those giant, 5lb JC Penny's catalogs just circling the stuff we want. I remember those catalogs because it was just full of stuff you can't actually get IN the store, but you could order it by phone and so this thing literally had everything. It was so exciting flipping each magazine-thin page (so thin it basically tore each time you flipped it but it had to be that thin in order to fit all that STUFF within a 4,093 page catalog) just being hit with massive toy and junk stimulation thinking "Oh I totally earned an air hockey table... I'm circling that in red".
The month of December was just the best time of year. Neighbors illuminated their houses, and in Virginia we almost always got snow which meant sleeping in on snow days or waking up early during school break to sled down our big hill in the front yard. One thing that did suck in the 80's... snow suits. Take my word... they make those much better now. December also meant lots of hot chocolate, Christmas movie specials, falling asleep to "Silent Night", making tons of cookies with Mom and fighting over the batter bowl, snowmen, snow forts, snowball fights, snow in your underwear. Giant wreaths lit up on all the shopping center stores, garland stretched across the streets downtown, Bing Crosby playing in all the stores, Christmas plays and nativity at church. Most importantly, December meant counting presents under the tree.
Don't get me wrong. We grew up knowing the true reason of the season. We were devout Lutherans and if you missed church on Sunday, God would strike you with lightening. Oh, we knew why Christmas was celebrated. My parents did the best they could, in the way they knew how. They were raised in strict Lutheran homes in Chicago and faith was delivered via wooden paddle to the butt if necessary. Though we were not paddled (often), my Mom did guide our faith with a lot of guilt and anger. It wasn't her being intentional, she just didn't know any other way and if her kids acted out or went to church scuffed up she was embarrassed and felt like a failure... to God and to the congregation. We got the dirty looks and "Jesus is watching" speeches, and watched her cry in the car if my brother and I argued on our way to church, "THIS is how you want to thank the Lord on Sunday? HUH. Do you think God proud of you right now? Spoiling the ONE day we take time to praise him? HE ONLY ASKS FOR ONE DAY. ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO, in fact, He just asks for ONE HOUR in the week. ONE HOUR and you two can't behave".
So, Mom and God were pretty disgusted by us a lot growing up. That's just what we knew. Dad went along with it. He has a pretty valid fear of my Mother's guilt trips.
For Christmas we went to every advent church service but we couldn't help but check out the sidelines of lights, garland, presents, toys, cookies, and all of the commercial aspects of the season. My parents spoiled the crap out of us, too. For us, we knew Jesus was the reason... but what really got us excited was everything else. First thing in the morning on Christmas day was the most exciting thing. My brother and I would race down the stairs and begin scouting out our gifts and making our own piles (then counting to see who got more). Mom & Dad shuffled into the kitchen to get coffee and we'd all sit down together. And wait for Wendy. My big sister was notorious for sleeping in and Christmas was no exception. I think she got a little kick out of making my brother and I wait on her, because we would never start without her. She had the control and she made us squirm.... until my mom finally drew the line and threatened her by pounding on the wall next to the stairs and yelling "okayyyyyyy we're starting with or without youuuuuuuu".
And within an hour it was all over. One year my brother and I got up to 30-something gifts each. (we compared). It wasn't all big stuff because it was the time of year my mom helped us improve our wardrobes, but I can't act like we didn't get a lot of toys either. The next day is like the "tinsel hangover" because you're so sad it's over and you just want to wrap everything up and unwrap them again. Womp Womp. Like planning a wedding; you put all this effort and excitement into this one thing and it's done in one hour.
The first few years of being a parent was just the best thing because I got to pass that excitement and joy of Christmas on to my daughter(s) and watch them learn and understand and feel all the feelings I had as a kid. My soul turns into fuzzy, warm wool fresh from the drying machine.
Last year we realized, okay, it's too much. I realized why my Mom cried, guilt tripped and threatened her anger over us so much all of our lives. I sat there watching my kid open gifts (like 100 of them) and deciding which ones she wanted and throwing off the ones she didn't want "I didn't ask for this..." and though Andy & I justified this outlandish shower of gifts by the fact that our kids do not get 'stuff', toys, gifts, or 'new things' throughout the year. Ever. No prizes at the store (maybe chocolate milk) or a new toy just because. So come Christmas, it was like... let's git r done! Water table for the Spring time, pool toys for the summer, cute sweater for our ski trip, new shoes, tons of books, more crafts to keep them busy than you could store in a U-Haul, action figures, little ponies, dress up clothes, leapster games and they are set for the YEAR. Boom.
But they didn't give a crap. Couldn't care less. Sydney had two things on her list and that was all she cared about. And I was sitting their steaming mad, just like my mom, over her UNappreciation for all of the other things (that I KNOW she'd later ask for).
So this year it's different. Birthdays are a time to celebrate us, and family and friends and growing... any presents go to charity. Sydney hosted a party at the roller skating rink and collected THREE large barrels of toys for Brown Santa. It was a huge success and she didn't even miss unwrapping presents at all! She just enjoyed herself and had an amazing time with friends and dinner with family. This year we toned it down for Christmas. Santa will bring the two things on their list. No problem. Mom & Dad will get them a few things "just because" but not go overboard. I've ordered my family not to get the kids anything but to just spend some time with the girls doing a fun activity. I cannot control grandparents. I've given up. So the girls each have 7 gifts this year, as opposed to the 15-20 last year. (I'm too embarrassed to give you the real number). Sydney's big gift from us is a new lemonade stand (professional quality according to her) so she can continue to run her business and "make moneys". Kelli's big gift is that silly KidKraft roller coaster thing. She's gonna die over it. Santa brought Sydney golf clubs like she asked and for Kelli he brought Little People Zoo and a baby doll crib & highchair.
I have to keep telling myself this is good. It's good for them. They'll appreciate it later in life. They will THANK US. Even though, as Andy says, it's hard to not want to give your kids everything. If he could, he'd build an ice cream factory on a pony farm for them. And it's not like they will starve for experience. We travel a lot and find that type of family bonding time and learning together about new places and things is more valuable than "stuff". I won't lie though... my heart gets an extra beat when I see a souvenier shop or an "everything you need" shop on the beach boardwalk. I love getting t shirts and coffee mugs from places. But this year we put a cap on "stuff". I definitely spent less time in shops while at Disney this year. Sydney brought tooth fairy money and Kelli got to spend equal to her sister. Turns out they didn't really care about that stuff much anyway. As long as Sydney had her autograph book and pen and they had their trading pins, we were set. Lesson learned.
I'm new at this. But I am turning a corner. Christmas, for us, is Christ-centered, family-centered with a little sprinkle of baking, decorations, lights and movie specials. I can't actually cut it ALL out. Psh.
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